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Things to do in empty rooms

Heres a list of things to do if you find your self locked in a small room

Stand up till your legs get tiredSit down till your legs arnt


Stand on one leg till your legs tired

Sleep for a bit














Get out and stop wasting your life in small rooms

That day of love

Since its coming up to that time of year again where people spend money on there latest fling heres some gift ideas
Most people like surprises so heres a few gift ideas

*A realistic heart if you can make it squirt blood its all the better
If you cant get one get a chocolate one with a jam/jelly filling

*A wasp in a box (shake it a bit first)

*A bit of wood
When you give it to her say “Now I give you wood”

*A (expensive) vase
Just as you hand it over look in shock and say “Some body stole the flowers”

*Some paracetamol
Say “Its for them nights when you get a headache”

*A trick mirror
One of the ones that makes her look thinner

*A tape of you saying “No it looks fine”

*A cake tray
There will be no cake on it as the cake is a lie

*£3.45
Give her the money and say “I cant choose what flowers you like so heres the money for them”

*Secretively change all or her clothes for a bigger size (must be done all at once)
Then say that she must have been losing weight


I take no responsibility from any break ups cause by following my advice

Good bye games

Well a few people asked me a question along these lines “Why are you getting rid of yours stuff ?” and “What are you selling ?”
The second question will be answered in the fullness of time. But first up the answer to the first question
Ive decided to become more of a games player and less of a collector for several reasons

Well the first is a bit obvious, its more fun, having games is one thing playing them is another
Whats the point of having hundreds of games and only playing one or two ?
So ive decided to only keep the ones that I like and get rid of those that I dont

The second reason is the space issue
All them consoles take up a lot of space and the games can take up even more.
What was “A broom cubboard of games” is now “A few boxes in the broom cubboard”

The third is a bit about my current income
Being jobless dont pay that much, ok some of these games wont fetch that much but every little helps (in before get a job)

The forth is more of a emotional reason
I dont have any fond memory's of the stuff im selling
Most games I have ive had for years (Nights, Gunstar heroes, Teddy boy, Yars revenge Etc etc)

Its gonna be hard getting rid of some of them
But still its gonna be more fun this way

MONEY SAVER

Heres some simple money saving advice for these dark times of mass firings and joblessness.

• Junk mail is unwanted but can make good cheap bog roll with the added bonus of being like saying “I wipe my arse with your offer”
  
• To save money on phone calls one bell people as most of the time they will ring you back
  
• To save money on books get Amnesia and you will forget the end of some books
  
• Learn to like tap water
  
• Free CDs make good mirrors
  
• Stain on that white tshirt ?. Spill more on it to make it look like a pattern
• TVs give off light, with the added bonus of the brightness august is like a dimmer
  
• Make sure that all devices use the same type of battery's and only use the one pair
  
• Or put the remotes away and save money on a gym membership
  
• Free papers are like free wrapping paper
  
• Video cassettes inerds also make good ribbons
• Get used to seeing in the dark
• Skips can sometimes have goodys within
  
• Dont use bin bags just empty the bin right into the big one
  
• Or bring the big bin indoors and use that
  
• Grow a bread and long hair to keep your head/face warm
  
• Spend more time round at a friends/Relatives houses
  
• Do your washing up while having a bath
  
• Or do it in the water thats left
• Branches make easy to look after plants
  
• Hair can be used in pillows
  
• Betting shops/Argos have a big supply of pens and bits of scrap paper
  
• Make friends with a pub land lord as free drinks might follow
  
• Cows (lazy buggers) make easy pets if you live near a field-With a bonus of free milk

And there you have it

My money saving advice

You must be this small to play

As a nipper I remember looking up to a big thing with things that looked like bears that had been dipped into black paint, I am of course referring to the classic known as Space Invaders.
I remember standing on a small stool(Not as in shite as that would not make much height difference and make my shoes smell) and then pushing in a ten pence into the coin slot (where can you do that now and still get a game ?) then starting to play only to die quite fast (I didnt know what to do).
Time past (a few weeks) and I was finaly able to reach the controlls and so I was finaly able to play the game unaided, BUT ! I kept growing (or they started shrinking) and so a new problem started I was geting to tall to play any of the arcade games with out becomein a hunchback I tryed to use the stool mentioned earlyer but I could not ballance it on it.
So theres a new prob, I am too tall to play this is a major prob with Konamis nackering "Fighting Maina" where I cant reach the bottom pads.
So now im stuck.
Im too tall
What do I do ?
Cut my legs off so im not as tall ?
Or give up ?
Maybe that is one of the reasions why the arcades are disapireing ?