That day of love

Since its coming up to that time of year again where people spend money on there latest fling heres some gift ideas
Most people like surprises so heres a few gift ideas

*A realistic heart if you can make it squirt blood its all the better
If you cant get one get a chocolate one with a jam/jelly filling

*A wasp in a box (shake it a bit first)

*A bit of wood
When you give it to her say “Now I give you wood”

*A (expensive) vase
Just as you hand it over look in shock and say “Some body stole the flowers”

*Some paracetamol
Say “Its for them nights when you get a headache”

*A trick mirror
One of the ones that makes her look thinner

*A tape of you saying “No it looks fine”

*A cake tray
There will be no cake on it as the cake is a lie

*£3.45
Give her the money and say “I cant choose what flowers you like so heres the money for them”

*Secretively change all or her clothes for a bigger size (must be done all at once)
Then say that she must have been losing weight


I take no responsibility from any break ups cause by following my advice